Broken Hearts and Chocolate Boyfriends

Watching The Notebook and eating her feelings, as one does after a break up.

You know how sometimes you mistake temporary bliss for the forever kind? And temporary people for the front porch, laughter-lines-and-wrinkles, reminiscing-when-you’re-seventy kind?

And you’ve become Taylor Swift, only devoid of all musical capabilities and snarky backlash?

So you spend your time pathetically staring at your phone because you think that if you concentrate hard enough it’ll ring, and if you just give it time, things will change and you’ll be able to listen to someone other than Adele. But then you grab your phone and you start typing:

“Hey, I know it’s late, but I just wanted to say NEVER MIND I’LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOOOOOOUUU!!&*$#!!!*!”

As unlikely as it may seem in that moment, let me tell you, you will… sort of. You see, love isn’t always a well-dressed man with perfect hair; sometimes love is a tall, dark and handsome slab of chocolate.

So you drop your phone in obvious shame, and slowly make the transition into rock bottom. You reach for the chocolate milk tray, stuffing your mascara stained face, sinking deeper and deeper into the surrounding chocolate wrappers.

But it’s not necessarily a bad thing that you crave chocolate in times of crisis. It can actually combat feelings of sadness, and to some extent, mend your broken heart.

In an experiment conducted by Michael Macht and Jochen Mueller, the consumption of chocolate proved to improve emotional and depressive states. The experiment had participants view sad video clips to induce a particular depressive emotion. Once induced, participants were given either a glass of water or a piece of chocolate to improve their mood. Results showed that those given chocolate felt significantly better afterwards, as opposed to the other participants.

We can understand the change in mood specifically in terms of chocolate’s carbohydrate ingredients, amino acid tryptophan, and its production of serotonin. It’s no secret that carbohydrates make us feel good. Our body changes carbohydrates into blood sugar and sugar quite often signals the brain to produce serotonin. ie. the feel good hormone.

According to an article by Medical News Today, serotonin is a neurotransmitter responsible for balancing mood. Through a complex conversion of tryptophan, serotonin is produced to signal the brain to improve mood, sexual desire and other body functions. So without the proper signaling to the brain, we’re often left feeling disorientated. Researchers have linked depression to a lack of serotonin within the system, so it makes sense that the consumption of foods able to produce serotonin can and will improve your mood.

So while you’re stretched out across the couch, staring at the phone waiting for a reply, you can and should eat. Eat and eat and eat your feelings until it hurts just a little less.

But it’s not about the craving for sugary foods; its simply about feeling like you have the ability to stretch your lips from one cheek to the other.

85% Lindt Dark Chocolate to boost your serotonin levels

Smiling can be made easier by chocolate, more importantly, by the kinds of chocolate you eat. Dark chocolate. ie. chocolate with 35% or more cocoa, tends to contain more tryptophan to increase serotonin, where as other milk chocolates, diluting the cocoa content, combats the feel good effects of consumption. Sure, sugar gives you a temporary boost, but once it wears off, once it leaves you, the pain you felt when he left, hits you all over again. So instead of reaching for that milk tray, go for the 70-85% Lindt chocolate. As soon as those blocks melt in your mouth, the emptiness inside you will too.

Maybe I’m an idealist, but I think chocolate can replace your boyfriend.

Dr Owen, a scientist studying the effects of chocolate on the brain, indicates through multiple scans that when eating or simply smelling chocolate, the orbifrontal cortex, an area of the brain associated with pleasure, glows.

So why text a man you’re not sure wants to be with you when you can hop into your car to your nearest Caltex for a slab of chocolate just waiting for you to undress him?

Am I placing too much value on chocolate? Maybe. But are you placing too much value on someone who can easily be simulated by cocoa beans and is not placing enough value on you? Definitely.

Chocolate has all the properties your boyfriend has: its able to make you feel good and improve your mood, it can induce feelings of pleasure, and is dark, sexy and smooth.

So stop crying, put down the phone and undress the contents of your new bae.

Pour Nutella into the cracks of your heart, and believe in the inevitability that the broken pieces will stick back together again.

And if you must send a follow up text, at the very least let it be along the lines of how you, are never, ever, ever, getting back together.

Thigh Gaps and Sexy Bones

Photoshop and the media have made it virtually impossible to love yourself. According to Mario Palmer, 91% of women are unhappy with their body and resort to dieting regimes, while only 5% of women naturally possess the ideal body portrayed in the media. And with the recent popularity of the thigh gap, women’s obsession with their weight, particularly young women, has increased dramatically.

“Eat whatever you want, and if anyone tries to lecture you, eat them too.”

The thigh gap refers to the space between your legs, should they not touch, when standing with your feet and knees together. However, eating disorder experts say whether or not your thighs touch depends solely on your genetic bone structure, the pelvic girdle and the placement of your hips. For most women, the thigh gap is unattainable, but that hasn’t stopped them from trying.

(For further reading: http://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/2014/07/14/social_media_feeding_girls_dangerous_obsession_with_thigh_gap.html)

In a quest for the thigh gap many young women have developed eating disorders and fail to realize that like any other disease, not giving your body what it needs, can be fatal. With media tags such as “thinspiration”, diseases such as Anorexia and Bulimia have taken to achieving the ideal body weight. But with self-starvation diseases such as anorexia nervosa, the body is deprived of the nutrients it needs to function. This often results in low heart rates and blood pressure, osteoporosis, muscle loss and kidney failure. Bulimia, being the binge eating, followed by purging, disorder, imbalances the body’s digestive system and affects organ function. Symptoms often affect the heart, rupture the stomach and esophagus, and produces irregular bowel movements, ulcers and pancreatitis.

(For further reading: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/health-consequences-eating-disorders)

Statements such as “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” seems to have taken off on social media and promoted malnutrition in vulnerable young girls. But to those girls, there are multiple things that taste better than skinny feels. Things like not passing out from fatigue and living a long and healthy life, things like proper bodily function and regular poos, things like chocolate cake and greasy food. The problem with thigh gaps and the representation of the female form is our inability to realize that there are different definitions of sexy. And while women in the media may be presented to you in a certain way, not even the girl on the cover of the magazine looks like the girl on the cover of the magazine. Just ask Kylie Jenner.

It’s totally acceptable to have a thigh gap, and it’s totally fine not to. But realize now, just like everyone else, you’re that version of yourself in the cosmetic mirrors at Clicks and the scale isn’t broken, your perception of perfection is. And besides, thigh gaps are for flamingos and you, my dear, are a sexy seal.

Food and Mood

“Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands…”

There are reasons why we stress-eat and reasons why we don’t – food affects your mood.

I’m one of those people who eat their feelings, and let me tell you, they taste delicious.

But while I personally think it’s totally normal to eat an entire slab of chocolate when you’re sad, there are scientific explanations as to why we eat the things we do and why we feel the way we do after we have. Food chemically and physiologically affects the brain, so it’s important to get in your carbohydrates, protein, fats, vitamins and minerals. These food groups have the nutrition you need to keep going.

Let me hit you with some knowledge real quick.

According to Maya Dangerfield, this is what it takes to feel good:

1. Chromium and Folate – Chromium and Folate are responsible for regulating serotonin, the feel good drug, in your system. So a happier you is a chromium (broccoli, potato, turkey breast) and folate (spinach, black eyed peas, asparagus, brussel sprouts and avocado) consuming you.
2. Calcium – Low levels of calcium increases PMS-like depression. Ladies, get in your greens, cheese, yogurt and milk because, “I called you a stupid troll and then didn’t reply because I was PMSing.” isn’t a valid excuse.
3. Iron – Iron provides us with energy and strength. So while taking a nap for 36 million years sounds great, oatmeal in the morning, and lentils with beef fillet for dinner will do too.
4. Magnesium – Magnesium suppresses the irritable, tired and stressed monster you become during exams. An alternative to destroying everything in your path would be to simply replace your study snacks with almonds, cashews and peanuts.
5. Omega-3 – This fatty acid is essential to the brain and your body can’t produce it naturally, but a good meal of salmon and spinach sure will.
6. Vitamin D and Zinc – A deficiency of Vitamin D often makes you feel despondent and weakens your immune system. Zinc also protects our gut and without it can result in anemia and hair loss. But if you factor in eggs, salmon, swordfish, mushrooms and milk for Vitamin D and pumpkin seeds, cashews, crab, and swiss cheese for Zinc, you can keep your healthy hair.